Will You help my broken heart, my weary mind, and my exhausted soul, to simply rejoice this Christmas?
I really do want to.
But God.
It’s been a long and difficult year.
Life is heavy, and oh so hard right now.
It’s all worn me thin.
Every breath is a struggle.
Every step is a fight.
Hope is more a rumor, or a memory, than a reality.
Joy is remembered, distantly in the past.
My soul is still standing – only because You hold me upright.
My smiles are from obedience, not overflow.
Even in knowing I am not alone in the weariness seems to do little in giving me strength.
But God.
Aren’t we the ones You were born in the manger for?
Didn’t You step into a night heavy with waiting?
Not into a world where all the ducks were in a row.
Not into a bright and shining castle.
But into a body bent by labor.
Into hearts bruised by abandonment and silence.
Into, and for, a people who had learned how to survive without answers.
You came.
Leaving all of Heaven’s glory – for this, for us.
Lord, rejoicing feels too big for me today.
Teach me the kind of joy that breathes softly.
The kind of joy that doesn’t deny the ache and emptiness –
But dares to hope against it all
The kind of joy that softly whispers through trembling lips and tear-filled eyes.
The kind of joy that just knows You are here, even though everything in me is empty.
Please, make this to be the season of holy interruptions.
Not with demands of feeling festive, just a simple invitation to look upon the Christ.
To lay my weariness there beside the manger, with Mother Mary’s.
To let Your nearness be enough.
Maybe rejoicing doesn’t always have to sound like laughter or look like twinkling lights.
Maybe rejoicing doesn’t always have to smell like baking and foods on the tables.
Maybe rejoicing doesn’t always have to have the words of a song.
Perhaps rejoicing can look like staying, being still, being quiet.
Perhaps rejoicing can look like believing when hope is shrouded in the fog.
Perhaps rejoicing can sound like a cracked heart saying, “I still trust You.”
May the Hope of this Christmas season be because You are Faithful, not because life is easy or fun.
May the Miracle of Christmas be in just breathing.
May my weary heart and soul rejoice this Christmas because You came into the darkness as Light and called us worth saving.
May the Lord Bless us and Keep us all in His tender care.
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| Not my picture, but one borrowed. |
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